I woke up with a start. The clock said 5 something and the hours between that and the horrible dream were few. Yet there was a story brewing in my mind and I felt compelled to get it out. My thoughts run heavy through the hours. I have spent the previous days of this weekend listening to powerful messages from the Lord for the women in my generation. Together, dear friends gathered with me to hear from God and to process our reaction with one another. It is these words that wake me, yes, but it is also the knowledge that a big project looms ahead of me.
On Monday I will have to pick it up once more, and in the meantime I think about how to express what I think God is telling me must be said. I wonder if it's right, I wonder if anyone else is hearing Him like this and I assume they are not. I am naturally an Eeyore, assuming the worst, looking for the cloud waiting to cover the sun. It's not the best way to live.
All of this weighing on me, a million thoughts carving like rivers through the recesses of my brain, I am up and moving. I make coffee, move the ottoman close to the comfy chair, grab my favorite blanket and set up the right Pandora station. The scene is set for writing. I settle in with the laptop and I decide that first I need to explore... I had been thinking about Peter walking on the water when I woke up. So I read that story and I think about what it means to come when you are called.... and then I'm on Facebook (just for a second), and I'm listening to an interview and I'm flipping through Pinterest and pouring food for the dog who just needs to go outside one more time.
Now it is 7 something and there are words on a page. They aren't the page I felt compelled to put words on, but at least I'm doing what I woke up to do. Even now though, I wonder what distraction has cost me today.